Insights from Atlanta Counselor Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT

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Over the years I've enjoyed writing little essays and observations about a variety of topics related to personal growth, emotional development, relationship enhancenment and other topics I find meaningful and interesting. I hope you enjoy them! 

You can read small snippets of each blog post below: click the title of any that interest you to read the entire post.  Each entry has also been loosely grouped into categories which can help guide your viewing.

Time Trip Tips

Living 'here and now' is not easy to do for any significant length of time. We are constantly being swept back into our remembered past or forward into our imagined future.

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Are You a Thermometer or a Thermostat?

The difference between a thermometer and a thermostat is fairly obvious. A thermometer merely reacts to the temperature around it. It rises with heat and lowers with cold.  I think this can be a useful metaphor to consider regarding your ability to manage your emotions as well as those of the people around you. 

Indentifying Multiple Emotions

One essential component of emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize multiple feelings taking place inside of yourself at the same time. While most people can identify a single emotion as it occurs, it can be more difficult to identify multiple feelings that are occurring simultaneously with each other.

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Book Review: How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair

I've decided to start adding brief reviews of resources I often find helpful in my counseling practice. Many of these resources will deal with the specialty area of my clinical practice that deals with chronic sexual betrayal, addictive or compulsive sexuality and other types of problem sexual behaviors. For instance, here's a book I often recommend in cases of sexual infidelity.

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What Are You Willing To Do?

What are you willing to do to live the life that is best for you, that fulfills your potential and brings you the greatest amount of possible satisfaction? And how long are you willing to strive for it? What are you willing to invest, how long are you willing to work and wait? What are the lengths you are willing to go to achieve the life you deserve to live?

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You're Not Fine

 

Sometimes when I ask clients how they're feeling I'll get this answer: "Fine". I usually try to point out that this doesn't tell me much.

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Ten Will Get You Fifty

People obviously seek psychotherapy or counseling to make changes in some part of their lives, and nobody wants to engage in a lot of effort for only minimal benefit.  I sometimes use the phrase "ten will get you fifty" to describe situations in which a small effort can yield a large reward.

The Benefit of "I Love You, And....."

It's not unusual for two people to disagree with each other. In a committed relationship the presence of occasional conflict is inevitable, although the way couples deal with this issue varies widely.

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You Get More Of What You Notice

This concept is not original to me (there is truly very little new under the sun) but I've found the idea that "you get more of what you notice" is so helpful that not only do I encourage my clients to put it into practice but I try to do the same in my day-to-day life.

What Would the Old You Have Done?

For a therapist, asking the perfect question at precisely the right time is an art form. I love being able to say to a client "In 25 years I have never asked this question before....." because it announces the possibility of a perspective that is truly unique to both of us.  I'm also fond of a few tried-and-true questions that have served me well for many years.  One is to ask "what would the old you have done?"

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