Help for Atlanta Seniors Struggling With Pornography

This page is specifically intended for folks in Atlanta on the more "mature" side of life who find themselves struggling with pornography use or other sexual behavior that goes against their commitments, values or self-control.  Excessive pornography use is not limited to the younger folks.  In my Atlanta counseling and psychotherapy practice I've helped many people who have successfully reached retirement who find that their time and focus is being unhappily diverted to the unending supply of pornography that is available online. 

To anyone who "came of age" prior to the 1990s, today's pornography is very different from what you experienced in your younger days.  Pornographic magazines and "adult book stores" were one thing, but today's online porn is a different creature entirely.  Unlike the old printed sources of pornography there are very few limits to what you can view online.  Even though nobody plans for it to happen, once the habit of looking at this level of hardcore porn gets to a certain level it can be very difficult to stop or control.  Bit by bits things go a little further until you end up where you didn't intend to go.  If you've achieved a certain degree of success in your life after decdes of hard work, you want to be able to enjoy the benefits of your efforts without unwanted sexual habits messing everything up at this late stage.  

Internet pornography has been called the "Triple-A" engine since it is accessible, affordable and anonymous.  The time has long past where you have to risk being seen going to a public place to spend money for pornography.  Many people find out after it is too late easy, free and anonymous access to explicit pornography removes many of the major inhibitors of sexual excess that were in place before the online era.  Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's online pornographic tidal wave.

The easy availability of hard-core pornography is so desensitizing that even highly moral people can spiral downward into the thrill of endless sexual stimulation.  In addition, since just about every variation of pornography can be located in just a few clicks it is inevitable that even the slightest sexual curiosity a person has can be intensely stimulated and reinforced.  This creates a powerful "false intimacy" that can distort and erode a person's ability to put in the work of real-world mutual intimacy with a spouse or other partner. Instead of marriages coming closer together in later years all too many people ultimately discover that porn is driving a wedge in their relationship -- often without your spouse knowing what is really going on.

Even though some of the sexual issues that people encounter in the last third of life can be very similar to the problems experienced by younger people, they can take on greater poignancy at this stage.  It's not uncommon for "men of a certain age" to experience erectile dysfunction, and pornography use rarely helps them perform better with a real person.  The excitement of forbiddden fruit can increase the desire of some men, especially those with some financial success, to seek out prostitutes and other sex workers.  Some men believe that such "transactional sex" is better than having a true affair in which deep emotions can develop.  But even people who don't go this route can increasingly rely to porn as a (seemingly) safer way to fill the voids that are unmet by occupational accomplishments and other measures of outward "success".    

Because of shame and fear, many educated, successful, moral and mature individuals don't address their problems with pornography or other forms of problematic sexual behavior until they become discovered, often by a spouse or other primary partner.  This creates terrible problems of betrayal and broken trust that can take skillful assistance and dedicated efforts to heal.  The good news is that I have worked to help very many couples, including those who have been together for decades, recover trust and true intimacy, often growing stronger and closer than they could have imagined.

As is evident throughout this website, I've been working to help people in Atlanta address these kinds of sexual concerns for many years.  As I myself have matured I have come to appreciate the special concerns of more mature folks who struggle with these issues.  Many people in this category don't want a therapist that is their kids' age.  They much prefer to seek counseling from a person who is chronologically more of a peer.  Men can especially benefit from talking with a same-age male therapist who can provide a safe and valuable perspective on their struggles and goals.

If you would like to gain the benefits of my experience and dedication to quality service then I hope you will contact me today.  

Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT