Sometimes a Breakdown is a Breakthrough
Even though I am writing this specifically for anyone who is struggling with sexual behavior that has crashed their life into serious problems (such as when infidelity is discovered or a sexual addiction results in a crisis), these words can benefit anyone, either now or in the future. Maybe they can help you or someone you know and care about.
If you feel like your life is collapsing around you I want to encourage you that this "breakdown" may be the start of a much-needed "breakthrough" in your life. In my Atlanta counseling and psychotherapy practice I help people transform pain caused by problematic sexual behavior into changes for the better. Whatever is going on with you right now, it's very possible that the best days of your life are still ahead, on the other side of this struggle.
There are times in life when an old way of living must fall apart before a new and healthier one can arise in its place. Too often, when people don't fall apart they just keep on wobbling forward, making more noise than true progress in their life journey.It's when the old way crumbles that a new and fundamentally healthier direction forward often presents itself. As the poet Rumi wrote long ago, "Many demolitions are actually renovations."
Sometimes it's good to hold on, and other times it's better to let go. Just remember during these important times when the road splits into two directions and you feel lost and scared that it's important to find someone trustworthy to talk to and get some guidance to help you get to a better place. You don't have to go through this alone. If I'm not the right person to speak to then please find someone who can help. Just keep remembering that this breakdown may be the exact breakthrough you need to live a better, happier, saner life.
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Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT is a privately practicing therapist and counselorn in Atlanta, Georgia. He helps people dealing with problematic sexual issues such as chronic infidelity, excessive porn use, and sex addiction.