About My Writing

Writing by Atlanta Counselor and Therapist Bill Herring LCSW, CSAT

Writing gives me an opportunity to share my perspective on different topics in a way that I hope can be helpful to people I may never have the pleasure to meet.  My writing falls into three categories:

(1) My professional publications 

     These are articles that appear in academic journals, most often the journal Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity.

(2) My blog posts 

     These are generally short essays and observations that cover a wide variety of topics that give a taste of how I think.  Note that I've recently removed almost 100 of them that I am editing to publish in book form in 2021.

(3) Lengthier articles and essays, loosely grouped into the following categories.  

Clicking on any title will take you to each article.  I hope you will find something that interests you.  Of course, nothing takes the place of a personal meeting, so please reach out to me if you would like to schedule an appointment with me.



Your Real Relationship Problem

This short article is a reminder that any problem you are having with someone who is important to you is an opportunity to improve your relationship with yourself.

John Gray's Love Letter Technique

Here's a simple and effective way to communicate complex  and conflicting feelings you may be having toward an important person in your life.

Get 'SET' For Effective Communication

When you are having difficulty dealing with another person, the “SET” model of communication, which stands for "Support, Empathy, Truth", can help you to communicate more effectively.  Simple and powerful! 

Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages

Here's a useful way to evaluate the communication patterns in any relationship in order to convey support and caring in the best way. 

The Most Important Question in Couples Counseling

If you are considering couples counseling, how you answer one simple question can influence the kind of success you are likely to have. 

The Four Denials of Responsibility

It can be difficult to truly take responsibility for doing something that caused pain to another person. Sometimes different forms of denial sneak in to reduce responsibility.  This article focuses on how to get it right.

The Art of Apologizing

The ability to apologize for a wrongdoing requires character, self-awareness and a willingness to do more than say you're sorry.  Here's some ways to think about apologies that can help them do the most good to both the giver and receiver.


Recovering From Infidelity: The Long and Winding Road

How long does it take to heal from broken trust?  To read my opinion, take a deep breath and click the link.

Partners of the Chronically Unfaithful

The impact of a single act of infidelity can't compare to the pain of finding out your partner has done it over and over.  This lengthy article examine the challenges that must be faced to heal from this kind of pain. 

Chronic Infidelity: Many Causes and Many Solutions

Chronic sexual deception happens for a lot of reasons.  This means there can be a lot of issues to address for a person who has strayed this far off course. 

Understanding and Addressing Excessive Online Pornography Use

Access to an endless river of pornography has created problems that have never before existed.  This article looks at some of the issues related to online pornography use, including what it takes for a person to break any dependence on it that may have developed.

Sex Addiction and the 3 Second Rule

Unhealthy thought patterns can lead a person struggling with sexual self-control to spiral into relapse long before any specific behavior occurs. This brief articel explains how the "3 Second Rule" can help prevent fantasy, intrigue and objectification from spreading to dangerous proportions.

What Is "Sexual Sobriety"?

When it comes to substance abuse, sobriety is easy to define: no more use of alcohol or drugs.  But the concept of 'sexual sobriety' is sex addiction is somewhat more complex.  This article explains some of the basic of what is means for a sex addict to be "sober".

What Are the Triggers of Sex Addiction Relapse?

A person seeking to manage an addiction to sex must learn how to recognize and respond to a variety of "triggers", which are risk factors that can lead to a return to unwanted behavior.  It's been said that a relapse of sexual sobriety starts well before the actual behavior returns, and so it's wise to be vigilent about these categories of triggers.

A Framework for Conceptualizing Problematic Sexual Behavior

This article, which I wrote in 2017, was awarded "Article of the Year" by the publishing company, Taylor & Francis. It serves as the basis for the "Advanced Training in Problematic Sexual Behavior" certificate program offered by the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health.This article introduces a framework for categorizing chronically problematic sexual behavior.  It identifies patterns of commitment violations, values conflicts, diminished self-control, negative consequences and lack of sexual responsibility as independent categories of chronically problematic sexual behavior.  This framework has broad application as an effective sexual health assessment tool.


12 Step Groups: Twelve Objections and Twelve Responses

12-step groups have helped millions of people recover from many different kinds of unhealthy behavior patterns.  So why won't some people go to them?  Maybe this article can provide some answers..... and some motivation.

Comparing the Different 12-Step Meetings for Sex Addiction

There are several different 12-step groups for sexual behavior.  One way to figure out which one is best is to learn how each of these groups defines what it means to be sexually "sober".  

Free Online and Telephone Support Groups for Sex Addicts and Their Partners

Here is a list of online and telephone-based forums to bring support and assistance to anyone, any time, anywhere.  .

Atlanta Area Support Groups

If you are looking for a support group for just about anything in the Atlanta area, you've come to the right place!.


What Does It Mean to Get Better in Therapy?

Other than feeling better, what does improvement mean in psychotherapy?  This article describes three types of improvement that are helpful to keep in mind.

What's the Difference Between Counseling and Therapy?

This article explains the differences between "counseling" and "psychotherapy", as I see it. 

How to Gain the Most Benefit from a Psychotherapy Session

Here are ideas to help a person make the best use of a counseling or psychotherapy session. It's your time, your energy and your money, so use it well!

Your Journey From Birth to Adulthood

Here is a list of 21 questions to help you reflect on your life prior to becoming an adult, to give you insight and appreciation for themes and patterns in your life.

The Many Problems of Psychiatric Diagnoses

A diagnosis is a way to think about a set of problems in order to determine the best course of action.  While they can be very helpful, diagnoses also have their own risks and limitations.