More About Excessive Pornography Use and Porn Addiction, page 2

This is the second of three parts to a long article I wrote about excessive online porn use.  I am a counselor in Atlanta who specializes in helping people with issues related to pornography such as problems with relationships and other important parts of life.  Click here to go back to the beginning of this article, 

PORN ADDICTION IS NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME AS SEX ADDICTION

Is out-of-control pornography use a form of sex addiction? This is a controversial topic among experts. It's an important question because some of typical ways of helping sex addicts may not be necessary or even helpful to people who struggle solely with online pornography.   My opinion is that many sex addicts use pornography as one of their "acting out" behaviors, but there are many other people only struggle with online pornography and no other form of sexual behavior. These folks aren't having multiple affairs, cruising for sexual partners, spending money for sex, or even having online sexual interactions with other people. For these folks the "high" exists only on the other side of a screen.

So it's possible for a sex addict to never view pornography and for a porn addict to never interact sexually with another person. This does not minimize the severity of difficulties online pornography can cause for some people. Porn addiction can be just as detrimental than sex addiction.  As previously stated, the severity of the problem is measured by the control it has over the person and the extent of negative consequences that arise as a result. 

There are important differences between people who have trouble managing their overall sexual behavior and those who only struggle with porn. For instance, it's not unusual for a sex addict to have a history of childhood sexual trauma or a significant family dysfunction.  But lots of people who struggle with pornography don’t have this kind of background.  Their problem does not come from their history as much as from the brain changes that occur when exposed to the endless variety of streaming porn.

It's helpful to think about online pornography as visual junk food.  One reason obesity is so common is that it's easy to consume too many unhealthy calories at an all-you-can-eat buffet, even when you're no longer physically hungry.  But at least the body has a limit on how much food it can consume at one sitting. The consumption of pornography has no such limit, especially for a person who delays orgasm to keep the "high" going as long as possible. 

Online porn has been called the "triple-A" engine of addiction because it is anonymous, affordable and accessible. In the days before the internet it was necessary to leave home, spend money and risk being recognized in order to get new pornographic material. Now a person can see more quantity, more intensity and more variety of sexual content in an evening than could have been seen in an entire lifetime just a few years ago.   No wonder there is a porn epidemic among people who formerly never would have had a problem. 

TYPICAL PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH PORN ADDICTION

While there's no limit to the problems that can result from excessive pornography use, some issues are so common that they can almost be predicted.  The negative consequences can be both sexual and non-sexual.

A. Sexual Problems Associated with Excessive Pornography Use

     Many of the problems associated with chronic viewing of online pornography involve unexpected changes in a person's sexual interests and functioning. Examples include:

• Fantasies and images that used to be very arousing can lose their appeal.

• This can lead to a never-ending search for new varieties of sexual excitement, which can result in a person becoming sexually aroused by images, scenarios and fetishes that originally held little attraction.  It's also very easy to find other people interested in any sexual scenario, which reduces inhibitions.

• An increased need for more intense online pornography can reduce sexual interest in actual partners. This can result in increased isolation, relationship problems and confusion for everybody.

• Excessive use of online pornography contributes to false expectations about actual sex between real people. It's like trying to learn how to play a sport by watching highlights on ESPN: those few exciting moments don't really teach the rules of how to play the actual game.  Trying to make the transition from intense sexual videos to actually making love to a real person can be just as difficult.

• Excessive online pornography use has created a whole new problem for many men, called "porn-induced erectile dysfunction" (PIED). Some men find that chronically masturbating to pornography makes erections less reliable when attempting sex with another person. Many healthcare providers don't yet fully understand or ask about online pornography use when their (increasingly younger) male patients come to them complaining of erectile difficulties.

B. Non-Sexual Problems Associated with Excessive Pornography Use

Many other problems associated with excessive internet pornography use aren't sexual at all, such as the following four categories.

• Cognitive problems: excessive pornography use can lead to difficulty concentrating, "brain fog", and memory problems.

• Emotional problems: depression, low self-esteem, mood swings and other emotional problems can develop or worsen.

• Relationship problems: social anxiety, isolation, defensiveness, superficial connections and reduced emotional intimacy are all common reactions to excessive porn use.

• Romantic problems: excessive pornography use can contribute to loss of romantic attraction to real or potential partners.

Of course, some of these issues may have existed before the porn problem began, but it often makes them much worse. And it can be very difficult for a person to recognize the connection between such non-sexual problems and excessive pornography use, which keeps the root of the problem from being addressed directly. 

PORN-INDUCED CHANGES ARE OFTEN REVERSIBLE OVER TIME

The good news is that It’s possible for most people to reverse and even eliminate all of these problems.  Erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation, loss of libido and other problems associated excessive pornography use generally diminish over time. People often find themselves returning to the types of sexual interests they had before porn took over, including the ability to become highly aroused with a real person.

Recovery from porn addiction is generally much faster than for sex addiction. Some people bounce back in a few weeks, while for others it may take 3- 6 months or longer to fully recover from pornography's effects on the brain. A good intial goal is to achieve 90 days withour pornography.  Many people are surprised to find immensely positive effects that can take place in just a few months.

Click here to read the final section of this article, which includes a list of tips to help break the pornogrpahy habit and some sources for more information.