Insights from Atlanta Counselor Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT

Atlanta therapist Bill Herring LCSW, CSAT for helpful discussion about sensitive personal issues.

Here's a collection of little essays and observations about a variety of topics related to personal growth, emotional development, relationship enhancenment and other topics I find meaningful and interesting. There's probably enough for an e-book but for now here they are.  

You can read small snippets of each blog post below: click the title of any that interest you to read the entire post.  Each entry has also been loosely grouped into categories which can help guide your viewing.

Apologizing vs. Empathizing

 

I've previously written at length about the art of apologizing, since a full apology is much more than saying "I'm sorry".  It's important to highlight one point which gets often gets overlooked when one person tries to apologize to another. It involves the important distinction between apologizing and empathizing.

Smart vs. Wise

This is another entry to my list of "therapeutic distinctions", pairs of words that at first glace may seem similar but which reveal important differences upon closer investigation . Today I want to compare intelligence and wisdom, since what it means to smart is not the same as being wise.

Absence of the Negative vs. Presence of the Positive

What prevents us from being happy?  Often our search for happiness seems elusive because of some negative influence that is getting in the way.  But is that all there is to it?

The Best One-Word Question in Psychotherapy

As a counselor and psychotherapist part of my job is to help clients explore important life issues that can bring lasting positive change.  One advice I can give to my younger colleagues in the field is to not stop too soon when exploring a particular question.  Like excavating a treasure or drilling for oil, deeper explorations can yield valuable results.

You're Not Upset

This essay is partly a companion piece to one of my previous posts titled “You’re Not Fine”.  Both caution against using words or concepts that seem to carry specific meanings but which actually lack the ability to foster productive communication.  And when it comes to emotionally charged discussions the words we use can make the difference between a productive or detrimental outcome.    From this perspective, using the word “upset” seldom helps any situation.

Fueled By or Ruled By?

Do you know the difference between something that inspires you and something that controls you? Can you tell the difference between motivation and compulsion? It's not always easy to tell the difference.

Time Trip Tips

Living 'here and now' is not easy to do for any significant length of time. We are constantly being swept back into our remembered past or forward into our imagined future.

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Are You a Thermometer or a Thermostat?

The difference between a thermometer and a thermostat is fairly obvious. A thermometer merely reacts to the temperature around it. It rises with heat and lowers with cold.  I think this can be a useful metaphor to consider regarding your ability to manage your emotions as well as those of the people around you. 

Indentifying Multiple Emotions

One essential component of emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize multiple feelings taking place inside of yourself at the same time. While most people can identify a single emotion as it occurs, it can be more difficult to identify multiple feelings that are occurring simultaneously with each other.

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Book Review: How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair

I've decided to start adding brief reviews of resources I often find helpful in my counseling practice. Many of these resources will deal with the specialty area of my clinical practice that deals with chronic sexual betrayal, addictive or compulsive sexuality and other types of problem sexual behaviors. For instance, here's a book I often recommend in cases of sexual infidelity.

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