More About Excessive Pornography Use and Porn Addiction, page 3

This is the final portion of a three-part article about excess porn use from Atlanta counseling expert Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT. Click this link to return to the previous section.

TIPS FOR BREAKING THE PORN HABIT

Although there isn't a one-size-fits-all model for treating excessive pornography use, some recommendations are pretty standard. The following are a few tips to help you achieve a life where pornography is not settng the terms of your day, your happiness or your relationships. For many more detailed guidelines, the links that follow will provide some of the best online sources of information and assistance.

Accept that your goal has to be several months of full abstinence from all pornography to give your brain a chance to "reboot". Simply trying to slow down the frequency of your viewing is not going to bring you the same benefits -- if any.

Be realistic that you will likely experience some challenges in your effort to be porn-free, such as mild to moderate cravings, a temporary loss of libido (i.e. "flatline"), insomnia (especially when masturbation with pornography has been a sleep aid), frequent sexual triggers, mood swings, intrusive memories of pornographic images (i.e. "euphoric recall"), and other struggles that will diminish over time.

Get rid of any pornography collections. Don't save a stash containing just a few images or videos. You're either in this thing all the way or you're not in it at all.

Install a porn blocker on all devices you use to access the internet. The best one for your particular situation will depend on the platforms you use (whether you use a PC, Mac, iPhone, Android, etc.). Some programs simply prevent you from going to pornographic sites, while others will automatically notify people (who you choose) about the sites you went to. Here is a list of recommended porn blockers for different platforms.

Write down your reasons for stopping your porn use. You may minimize the problem and your motivation may erode when you are feeling an urge to log on for "just a look". (If you use a journal take extra care to keep it password protected or very safe from others).

Develop your ability to immediately recognize and respond to your triggers. Practice the 3-second rule and other techniques to divert or redirect your attention back to your ultimate goal.

Do what you would do if breaking any bad habit: get good exercise, nutrition and rest; let someone know what's going on; practice meditation and relaxation techniques; devote time to hobbies and enjoyable activities; find creative outlets for your newfound energy and focus; etc.

Remember that on the other side of an urge is a sense of well-being, victory and confidence. Hang on, even if just a few minutes, and you’ll often find that the urge passes. Get up and move your body if an urge hits you while you are sitting or lying down.

If you do use pornography again, don’t give up. Resist giving in to the dreaded “abstinence violation effect” where you lose all motivation if you slip.

Don’t push yourself into actively pursuing sexual activity with a partner: keep it slow and low-key. You don’t need any performance pressure at this stage. You can make up for lost time later.

Find and utilize a support community. Viewing porn is almost always a solitary activity, which is why a supportive network of other people who have gone through the same process can be very helpful. The resources below can give you a way to find other people who are on the same journey. There is strength in numbers. Remember that "you alone have to do it, but you don't have to do it alone".

This may be an excellent time to seek help from an experienced and knowledgeable therapist. If you have a therapist who needs to learn more about this subject, here is some information many therapists have found helpful. This is a fairly new problem, and someone who is not recently trained in this specific topic may not be fully up to date on the latest research and understanding about this subject.

ONLINE SOURCES OF ASSISTANCE FOR PORNOGRAPHY PROBLEMS

Many excellent resources are available online to help people deal with internet porn problems. Here are three of my favoriate resources:

Nofap -- NoFap's humorous motto is: "Get a new grip on life!" It's a community of people who have recognized the problems that can happen as a result of excessive internet porn. Here you will find inspration, humor, support and a lot of useful information and assistance designed to help a person break a dependence on internet porn.

Your Brain on Porn -- the motto for Your Brain on Porn states the simple truth that: "Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn" This is the premiere site for information about the effects on chronic use of online porn.

Reboot Nation -- This is another site with useful forums and other information to help provide support, education and motivation to people working to break free from excessive pornography use

ASSISTANCE IN ATLANTA FOR PROBLEMS WITH EXCESSIVE PORNOGRAPHY USE

I hope this information helps people seeking information about this issue. Of course, nothing is as useful as a personal consultation to help evaluate the unique needs of each specific situation. I'm available to serve as such a resource. I offer individuals and couples an emotionally safe way to address concerns about online pornography use. If you are interested talking with me further, I invite you to contact me to schedule a time to discuss what's going on and to chart your course to true happiness, intimacy and freedom.